Defining Boundaries

Defining Boundaries in our own lives proves to be one of the most difficult and yet meaningful tasks I have seen. If you are unable to define your boundaries around areas like time, space, and even language how can you articulate them or, much less, ask that they be respected.

Boundaries come in a multitude of areas however I will use a few for illustration:

• Space - What is your boundary about how close people get to you when talking - physical space? Different cultures are certainly different here.
• Time - When a person approaches you and begins talking what is your time boundary for the conversation? How do you define the boundary? If someone calls you at 4am to talk is that acceptable?
• Language - What language do you speak? What words are acceptable and unacceptable to you in that language? What is your boundary?

David Krueger (see his website at www.mentorpath.com) once said 'you are constantly teaching others how to communicate with you'. Do you communicate your boundaries to others? The first step is in defining your boundaries.

I challenge you this week to begin listing your boundaries in different areas. Take a notepad and start listing these.

Next week we will talk about how you communicate and gain agreement on these boundaries in different situations.

Take Care!

Bringing purpose and action to your goals

Many times I hear people struggling on how to bring longer term goals to short term actions.

The conflict seems to constantly be that short term threats and obligations 'get in the way' or 'consume all my time'.

So what gets in your way? If you map out your next week what time do you have left or can you carve out that helps you towards your long term purposes or goals?

A suggestion -Make a list of the following for next week:

Threats - what you have to do or life or relationships will end or you cannot take your focus off of it - i.e. Impending job loss, serious illness of a family member or friend, etc

Obligations - what do you need to do to keep the reputation or lifestyle you want - i.e. Commitments to service and action for family, friends, your job.

Once you have these listed and time commitments known for next week what things can you do around these and what actions are you willing to take to reduce these so you can take other actions towards your long term goals?

Have a great week!

Next week I will publish on personal boundary setting.

Andrew

What do you work for?

Whether you read books by Stephen Covey, Rick Warren, Oprah Winfrey, or Bill Cosby (and the many many others) we find that the number one problem for people living extraordinary lives is discipline. This discipline is usually split in so many directions or paths in our lives that being able to 'see' the links and associated dependencies leaves us empty or only fulfilled in a few areas of our lives or only for a short time.

This week's post is about what you work for.

What is that thing you work for? I am not talking about only your job or career. I am asking about your life. What is it that you work for? What do you labor for when you wake up until you go to sleep? Don't stay at the surface on items like money or your bank. Go deep here. If you juggle meetings to be home on time for your child's recital you 'work' at that time for family time or indivduals - ultimately to be loved, admired, accepted, or guilt free..

Make a list of these things and people you work for.

Look over your list...

Now look at your days in the next week. Go ahead, check your schedule. Are you making these items a priority or making excuses and finding only that 'last bit of time' each day to work for these? Is there anything you need to get rid of - even long standing habits - that take you away from the things most dear to you?

Simple concept, not so simple application. Discipline in acting on this comes in short doses such as tomorrow or next week. What discipline do you want or know you need to establish to work for something you love or need? What are you going to do this week to accomplish that?

Take Care!